Lost X soul

searching_soul @ 2004-04-03T22:41:00

2004-04-03T12:52:34Z

[x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x]
What's your name? ::: Peter
Birthplace ::: Brisbane, Australia
Age ::: 15
Age you act ::: 16
Current location ::: Brisbane, Australia
Eye color ::: Blue
Hair color ::: Blonde Right, lefty or ambidextrous? ::: Right
Zodiac sign? ::: Libra
Height? ::: 5'8 (i think)

[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]|
Your heritage/nationality ::: Australian
Your hair ::: Blonde
Your fears ::: Stupid People
Your perfect room ::: My computer, My bed, My CD's, Vinyl's
What you practically do in a day ::: Listen to music
[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]
Words you overuse ::: Fuck.
Phrases you overuse ::: How Fucking GAY!
Your first thought when you wake up ::: I can't face this day
Your greatest accomplishment ::: Surviving My Dysfunctional Life.
Something you want to do ::: Learn guitar
[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]
Pepsi or Coke ::: Coke
McDonald's or Burger Kings ::: Burger King
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera ::: They're both sluts.
Chocolate or vanilla ::: Vanilla
Adidas or Nike ::: Adidas
Black or white ::: Black
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) ::: Bills
Burgers or hot dogs ::: Burgers
Egypt or France ::: Egypt (french are mean bastards)
Rock or rap ::: Rock
[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]
Smoke ::: Nope
Cuss ::: Yep
Sing well ::: Nope
Sing in the shower ::: Nope
Talk to yourself --a lot-- ::: Nope
Believe in yourself ::: Yep
Like taking these longass surveys? ::: Eh...
Play an instrument ::: Nope
Want to go to college? ::: Yep
Want to get married? ::: Yep
Want to have children? ::: Yep
Think you're a health freak? ::: Nope
Get along with your parents ::: Sometimes
Get along with your siblings? ::: Sometimes
Think you're popular ::: Nope
[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]
Gone out of state ::: Nope
Drank alchohal ::: Nope
Smoke ::: Nope
Get high ::: Nope
Done any drugs ::: Nope
Eaten an entire box of oreos ::: Nope
Been on stage ::: Nope
Gone skinny dipping ::: Nope
Been dumped ::: Nope
Dyed your hair ::: Nope
Stolen anything ::: Nope
[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]
Craziest ::: Darryn, Ryan
Loudest ::: Tom
Most shy ::: Daniel
Blondest ::: Daniel D
Smartest ::: Brock
Kindest ::: Christine, Tarran
Best personality ::: Christine
Most talented ::: Brock
Best singer ::: Tom Most
ghetto ::: Eric
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) ::: Dunno
Pain in the ass ::: Eric
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style))::: Dunno
Funniest ::: Tom
Best person for advice ::: Dunno
Dependable ::: Christine
Trustworthy ::: Christine
Druggie ::: Ryan
Most likely to end up in jail ::: ...
Person you've known the longest ::: Daniel
[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]
Last dream ::: Last night
Last nightmare :::
Last week Car ride ::: Today
Last time you cried ::: 20mins ago
Last movie seen ::: 50 First Dates Last movie rented :::
Last book read ::: How to kill a mocking bird
Last word said ::: Sucks
Last curse word said ::: Fuck
Last time you laugh ::: 6hrs ago
Last phone call ::: 6hrs ago
Last CD played ::: Avenged Sevenfold
Last song you listened to ::: And All Things Will End
Last annoyance ::: Not today...
Last IM ::: A few minutes ago...
Last weird encounter ::: None today
Last person you hugged ::: Not since friday
Last person you yelled at ::: Richard
Last time you wore a skirt ::: What sex is this quiz directed toward?
Last time you've been evil ::: Last night
Sarcastic? ::: Just now
Last time you fought with your parents ::: Probably a few minutes ago
Last time you wished upon a star ::: Never
Played Truth or Dare ::: 7th grade
Spent quality time alone ::: What is this quality time you sick people speak of?
[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]
Are you talking to someone on AIM ::: Not at the moment
Do you feel lonely ::: Yes, i need to talk with someone
Ever TP'd someone's house ::: Yep
How about egging someone's house ::: Yep
Do you not like dislike not like me? ::: Yeah, you're fucking gay
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? ::: Their a bunch of fags that gotta be shot
Yo Momma ::: Ate all my fuckin twinkies biatch...
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? ::: No...
What do you think of George Bush? ::: HE DESERVES TO DIE...
Any secret fetishes? ::: No
Do you like to wear chains? ::: Don't have any
How many languages do you speak? ::: 1
Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! ::: NO
Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you XP)) ::: YES IM GLAD...VERY GLAD

I feel reborn

2004-03-29T00:07:27Z

I know i said i would never update this again but things are starting all over for me, im starting to have a life once again. And writing in this really helped me with alot of things as i had no one to talk to. Im not going to sit here and fill you in on what has happend over the past month and a half.

School is still dragging me down, report cards next week? im only just going to pass every subject unless i fail Art studies because i didn't hand in my assigment, although i had done it Ms Assmussen wanted me to get an extension from the head of department but that didn't work out so i failed. Im home sick today it sucks ass and i have our art piece due today in the Art Studies!! Lets hope she will take it as i was away. It hasn't turned out the way i wanted it to but next term things are going to have to change in the way im dealing with school.

Things around my house are alright we are getting a pool put in, madness and people keep saying that its almost winter and i won't be able to swim but thats why we are getting it solar heated...Fuck Yes.

I have a few pictures taken:

When it was getting dug

Cementing time

Finished

Its not 100% complete the lights, pebble finish and waterfall still have to go in but there is another 2 weeks till anymore work is done because the cement has to dry and settle properly.

Saturday night was fun Christine and Tarran came over w00, i get the feeling that mum was happy because she was amazed that i was actually bringing some friends over apart from daniel for the first time in like over 1year?
It's good to finally have something to do and get out instead of me spending my life on the computer or drowning in my own tears as i lay there thinking of how shit things are for me... we just sat talked and listend to music and of course me and Christine had a good time she is so good to me and without her well i wouldn't be able to get through alot of things.

Ok picture time..
Me and Tarran

So i didn't feel like smiling big deal?
Me and Christine, pity i look like shit

Dad dropped them and Christines around 11, and i went straight home and pretty much crashed i was so tired but all was good i had a great night.

Sunday came and i called Daniel to see if he wanted to come into the city with me because i had to go pick up my Avenged Sevenfold CD that i ordered months ago and it had only just came in yay! It's fucking awsome and i got myself a Thrice shirt its a bit big but it's about time RAVE had some in stock, and i wasn't playing on getting one because i need to save some money but i couldn't resist then to finish it off i got Poison the well - The Opposite Of December. I came home and finished painting my canvas for art then got ready and went down to tennis, i won my match and with style ahah 6-0 the person cried and threw their raquet on the ground and walked off the court. In the end Christine came down to watch ha nice and boring for her.

Peace. Ha

searching_soul @ 2004-02-20T20:11:00

2004-02-20T10:24:25Z

Today was so bad we lost power... NO FANS and NO AIR-CONDITIONING our english teacher got us into the computer room just so we could be out of the heat the the power goes until the last 25mins of school...

This week started out so bad i really felt like driving a knife into myself, things were getting so bad.

Then Wednesday came and i started talking/sitting with Tarran and Christine it was good i was actually happy. They pretty much are into all the same things i am into and will talk to me and don't put me down. We were going into Skinny's to see Full Scale but it was canceled due to our saftey after the extreme heat may take its toll 41 degrees... So i called Christine to tell her the bad news and she said if we don't go into the city (if its to hot) then we can go to Keryn's house to bum out in her pool. Should be fun... most fun ive had in awhile?

Now to business A PEFECT CIRLCE fucking owned last night!!! it was so awsome i had the best time despite the 2 groups of people smoking pot behind me all was good. Some asshole was blowing smoke in my face so i had enough when he was rolling a new smoke i was "moshing" and smashed it out of he's hand he dropped the whole bag of tobacco and was really annoyed but i just kept going... i couldn't believe how good they were live!!

Sucks, working tomorrow.. 11 - 3.30 Not to bad just boring.

searching_soul @ 2004-02-17T21:22:00

2004-02-17T11:26:14Z

School is so hot, the humidity is unberable and now they are saying that Friday or Thursday is going to hit 38 degrees? FUCK... anyways i serioulsy thought the other day i had made friends with Keryn and Tarryn but it turns out all Keryn wanted was me to burn her a cd, and now she don't talk to me. I was talking with Tarryn today in art class she seems really nice and actually talks to me! woah different.

Im going into the city on Sunday with Eric, Christine and Tarryn this will be like my first time going in with someone other then Daniel or my sisters b/f. Actaully this is the first time out with more than 1 person in ages... we are going into Skinnys to see FULLSCALE playing so it should be good. It was orginally me and Eric but he made plans to ditch me and go with them but Christine asked me to come so i didn't pass up this chance.

So my dad has gone out of state due to work for a week so its just my mum and no one except me is helping her everyone just sits there and yells and her telling her to get them dinner and shit... My 20 year old bro still asks my mum to make him dinner, he has no job, license or actually he has nothing to he's name. My sister is the rudest bitch i know she tells my mum to fuck off for telling her to do something so i tell her to shutup and her b/f comes in and hits me and tells me to leave her alone, so i told him to get the fuck out of my house and find a flat.

If this dosen't read right. Sorry

searching_soul @ 2004-02-15T10:40:00

2004-02-15T00:46:53Z

Another day of emptiness on my behalf.

My journal want be getting update alot anymore as my social life is almost non-existant just thought id let the whole "3 people" who read this know.

I worked yesterday for 4hrs which was just annoying as the manager was in a shit and constantly yelling at us to do more work. When the place was so fucking clean and there were no customers at all. But anyways i survived only to come home and listen to my mum bad mouth my sister about her habbits or w/e i just did my best to ignore her.

This morning i woke up at like 6.30? i was so tired but had to go to a work meeting at 8am which i only rememberd about 15mins before it was ment to start to i arrived just on time and find out that our new uniforms that were spose to come in last year won't be at our store till May due to lack of sales within the store so they blammed it on us... we are the last store in the state to get them how fucked...

Anyways my parents have gone to the movies so im safe for about 3hrs until they come back and yell at me to do some h/w or assigments hopefully one day the will just understand me.

As i open new eyes

2004-02-11T07:23:58Z

I deleted my last entry, because i re-read it and it made no real sense.

Today started off really well, the whole day i had good subjects and i was mainly looking forward to getting my contacts. So i went to my oppointment which took 1hr i was getting so fustrated just putting them in at first was a challange but ive really got the hang of it now but getting them out just puts me off, i have to look up with my eyes (not head) then touch my eye ball push and slide down feels akward then i have to keep looking up and put my index and thumb together touch my eye ball with both of them and then pinch. I guess after time it will all be fine. Once that was done mum took me to Chermisde where i got 2 new cd's:
Rise Against - Revolutions per minute
The Butterfly Effect "self titled"

My key card got cracked at the Thrice concert so i went to the bank to get a new one and she took it off me and cut it up, i was so pissed i need that to get more things oh well i guess i will have to wait another week to get it all.

I come home and everything was alright i got onto msn and started talking with Brooke and mentioned how sick i look, i was trying to say that because im so pale i constantly look like im ill and she was telling me to go to a doctors because thats no good and i should do something about the way i look. WHAT THE FUCK this is the way i am Brooke its not my fault that im this pale everyone tells me to go in the sun and get a tan, what you think i haven't tried?

Theres not much i can do about my apperance maybe this is why no one talks to me? or would consider me as a b/f people say image dosen't really matter but we all know deep down you do care what the person looks like and most of you assholes judge people on that. School is just getting more of a waste of time for me, today i talked to no one except Darryn as him and Daniel are the only ones who i want to look at the rest make me sick. Once again i got shit given to me this time by John in english. FUCK he talks alot of shit we were wathcing music videos and talking about them for our "popular culture" topic and he was acting if he knows me like we have been friends since primary schoool. Dude i hated you throughout school and i still do and always will stop telling me who i am, you look at my diary and comment on how gay AFI look my point is constantly proven by these assholes on how much the society is fucked and how they are all judges on appearance.

Show time

2004-02-07T10:15:58Z

Friday was the best fucking day ive had in ages despite going to school... Seeing as my parents wouldn't let me go into the city for the Thrice & Alkaline Trio signing at Skinnys. My sisters b/f went in for me instead which i was really happy about he got my Artist in the abulance signined

I asked him to get a few pictures aswell they turned out pretty good, he only missed Eddie.

So i was so excited that school was over and that i was going to see them that night i came home went around to Daniels and then we both made our way back to my place where my sisters b/f and he's mate were there and getting ready so we all hopped in the car and my dad drove us into the city and when he dropped us off in one of the side streets Teppei was coming out from backstage so i talked to him for like a minute or so? Anyways it was still awsome.

The first band started was The Nation Blue I was right up on the barrier until i decided to make my way over and fight it out waiting to get some merch, 30mins later i one person away i have my eyes on a jumper and a shirt, the asshole infront of me got the last damm t-shirt but i still got my jumper so i was still happy. Then Hot Water Music started up they were alright i guess ive never really heard much of them at all before so it was good. Then came Thrice the whole crowd of the floor just bunched up ready to start the pit was insane Daniel and me were separated almost instantly he ended up just outside where everyone was moshing after about 2 songs, he didn't look to happy. Anyways i couldn't wipe the smile off my face i was so happy, i think in the 2nd last song i got pushed to the back but it was alright i was ready to get out.

Alkaline Trio closed the show but heaps of people were walking out half way through their set pretty funny they are alright live but i don't like them so i knew none of their songs. So when the showed finished at 11 we made our way out to where my dad was spose to pick us up there were a few drunks around the place trying to start people so we just decided to walk about just as we were about to go my dad arrived so we all ended back at my house until about 1am when Elliots friend left because he had to work the next day.

When i went upstairs to my room there was a package waiting from me it was my Tony Hawks stuff that i had won awhile back in a competition so my entire day/night was made could this be my best weekend yet?

Dark.

2004-02-03T08:30:21Z

Its been raining for the past day and a half straight?

Just trying different images for my layout hope you like it, Selene how do i change where it says Comment, 1 Comment ?

FUCK YOU

2004-02-02T10:19:43Z

What the hell have i done to deserver this, Friday night when i was at the table having dinner everyone decided to abuse me and started calling me gay because i don't have a girlfriend and girls never seem to call me. First of all it's not my fault i can't get a g/f and you have no right to judge me on being gay for that reason. After listening to about 15mins of that i was about to fully loose it when my mums buts in and asks why i don't have any other friends over or call any.

FUCK YOU they have no right so i yelled at them all and left i told them why it is the way i am, why i have no friends and why i stay home all the time. I walked out and ended up at my aunties until Sunday afternoon.

Saturday i did nothing all day like usual i called my sisters b/f and asked if he would come into the city with me but he had to work. Ive decided that there is no point trying to ignore him as he is going to be living with me but later that night i had to work but luckly it was only for 3hrs the manager has been such a complete fucking bitch to me. Sometimes i just felt like ripping her voice box out if you know what i mean (putting it nicely)

Sunday came and i headed into the city with Elliot (sisters b/f) and we just saught of talked and had a look around i went into Skinnys looking for the Coheed and Cambria cd but they were SOLD OUT!! when went around a few stores but got bored quickly after that we decided to look for the Subway he will be the new manager at on our way down there we got lost somewhere downtown with no one around what so ever. Kind of weird but after 20mins we found and we started talking with the people that were on they looked very bored!

So we had a sub and left hoped on the train and came home.

Summer Holidays Gone. School sucks

2004-01-27T10:50:48Z

First day back at school what a day. I had to wake up early and get ready the whole wearing a tie thing for year 11 is crap i hate it oh well.

So i go into form today i have Mr. Stevens he never use to be such an ass but i guess he is getting harder on us now, he hands out our time table and i got the worst line up of teachers.

First up it was BCT with some new teacher to the school Ms. Townsend she seems pretty cool so far not strict which is good, after first period i went to visual art with that stupid lesbian Mrs. Michaux she hated by brother and said infront of the class to him that he was a waste of space and shouldn't have been born and when she called out my name she just gave me a death stare so im looking forward for this year with her!

Yeah get threw that lesson after finding out with will be doing photography which will be pretty cool. Make my way over to my other art class with Ms. Asmussen who is the head of department for all arts but ive had her before

Last period Mr. Nystrom my old maths teacher and i have him again this year he use to be one of the people that worked out the causes of death with people so he was in the police force but dosen't talk about it much. He gave us some small ass test it was actually the only work i had to do all day but ive just got off holidays so i couldn't remember anything oh well thank god it didn't count

I have like 3 other teachers that have been complete fuck heads in the past lets hope things have changed, but today was so damm i hot i went from first period in air-conditioning to being in one of the hottest rooms in the school.

Hate Me...

2004-01-25T21:06:06Z

Holidays coming to an end...

2004-01-24T12:43:08Z

Hey, got back from holidays up at the Sunshine Coast this morning. Had some fun/bad times but it all turned out alright.

The first day i went out and saw my uncle who has finally moved up to Caloundra after living in Canberra for he's whole life, so we went out on he's boat and went tubeing for most of the day it was lots of fun. Except for when i woke up the next day with a very sore back and arms but it was worth it.

All the pictures taken off me have been deleted because they were to "blurry" so my dad said.

this is my cousins husband just before he fell off

Daniel

After that every other day was just like before wake up have breakfast and then go down to the beach for awhile come back then might go for a walk into town (only did that a few times), then around 5 go back to the beach. My whole time was mostly spent watching movies, out with my uncle/cousins or at the beach

And i only got burnt once and my parents wouldn't shutup about it they kept going on when we went out for dinner they would go like fuck heads over what i was wearing. "Your not going out to dinner wearing that tshirt" or other random SHIT like that. Daniel was there for the whole 2 weeks with me it annoys me but he's family have so much more money then mine they when they go on holidays they never ask me but we always have to take him. He brang no money trying to bum off my parents so we asked he's mum to atleast give him some, all he wanted to do was watch he's boring ass Linkin Park DVD's and listen to their cd's.

I have no pictures the only ones are really of my little sister

Sister and my cousins son Corey (she wouldn't shutup about her crappy sunburn the whole time)

Well that ends my boring holiday i had some fun times. Im feeling sick right now i had to mowe my next door neighbours yard before because he has gone away for 5weeks to Hong Kong for some flying test. So after that i just went and used he's pool so much fun he has a diving board which i think is pretty cool, it was storming just before and i left my windows open in my room so half my bed got wet and all the shit i had next to it the wind almost blew over my lava lamp... the worst thing of all my sisters boyfriend is now living with us he is alright sometimes he just can get on my nerves very easily when we left he and my bro like hated eachother i come back today and they are fucking bum buddies they went to the movies today, my bro has never asked me before so its a bit weird if he annoys me i have so many things that could get him kicked out so he better not get on my bad side.

Anyways i need to try and get sleep. (i missed Selene so much)

Shopping?

2004-01-08T11:49:14Z

Today i went shopping with my sister and her b/f (who is really starting to piss me off) but he is going with me to the Thrice show and when i was out today i got my ticket for A Perfect Circle. I can't wait, i also had to get some new pants but i didn't find any really at all so when i came home i just lied down for a bit and watched a bit of TV my mum came to me and said she was going over to chermside so i decided i would go with her and i got myself a cd: MUSE Hullabaloo and i found some pants there brown with white pin stripes down them.

Anways i just got back from work im going up the coast on Saturday for 2 weeks, so ill talk to you all then.

Work, and no play

2004-01-04T11:37:09Z

Haven't done much at all this past week i got called in for work yesterday and i stupidly said yes so instead of working my 4hrs i worked 10hrs :/ I was so stuffed and i think my back is damaged probably inherited it from my dads side.

Today i went around to Josh's didn't do much at all really just talked, then went over to Max's house and just chilled out and went to Chermside for a bit then like ah yeah here i am now.

Bored
Ok thats all i have to say Laters

What A Year?

2003-12-31T10:07:49Z

Woah so tonight is New Year Eve, What happened with this year? it went so fast nothing really made this year special for me actually it was probably the worst ive had. After going from happy and hanging out with friends to just loosing touch with them all and not really talking anymore. The whole depression thing has been with me awhile now and ive really had no one to talk to about it. But evertyhing has gone so fast my sister turns 12 tommrow, I can't believe it she is growing up so fast its weird where have the past 12 years gone when you think about.

School wasn't any good for me after constantly fighting with Danielle and Brooke, I just wish i could say i have Danielle's friendship. So many months spent on liking her only to get more hurt im not going to blame anything on her. I hope everyone has had a great year because i haven't

Anways i don't really have much to say so ill leave with this:

Worst thing about 2003: Everything?

Best thing about 2003: Seeing all my cousins again this past month ive been so happy latley, forgot about alot of things. Also meeting the special someone *you know who you are*

Favourite song for the year? : Ah none? i don't exactly follow the charts so i don't know what songs are new nore do i care

Ill finish off with saying today was great, got my ticket to see Thrice!! and everything that else that happend today :) What a way to finsh the year of ey?

So im out
Have a HAPPY NEW YEAR and hopefully 2004 will bring me some joy and i can enjoy life once again, see you all next year.

-Peter
Decided not to blabber on about this whole year

searching_soul @ 2003-12-29T21:36:00

2003-12-29T11:51:47Z

Today was weird in a one way or the other, when i came downstairs this morning wearing the arm bands that my mum got me for Christmas she started having a go at me asking why the hell i was wearing them. So i had a go at her and said some things that needed to be said for christmas everyone in my family bought me shirts that i didn't need as i already had enough they only did it because they don't like me wearing my Black shirts or whatever. I had finally had enough of getting shit from my family for what i wear. So i was saught of upset this morning because i had, had enough of it all but there was Selene saying all the right things to make me feel a bit better.

About 1hr later i called Daniel up and told him to come over, and well he took he's damm time on getting over here! anyways when he showed up he brang over Linkin Parks Live in Texas DVD. Im not a big fan or really into LP but he's DVD player broke so he wanted to watch it and we had nothing better to do then watch so anyways i managed to sit threw it, and can i just say the barely use the stage its so boring you can't exactly get into it.

Once i got the heap of shit out of my dvd player we decided to go back to he's house and do whatever because i needed to get out of the house. When we got there he told me about the air hockey table he got for x-mas so we played around on that after about 2 blows to the balls via the puck and a near miss of my head i decided id had enough and wanted to keep my genitals safe, its hurts so damm much! I got my boardies and what ever else i needed and got a lift back to my house so we could go to my aunties for a swim but our mums got talking and didn't bother to take me down to the pool so we sat there watching some movie (boring) then the phone rang and it was my work i was so happy as this was my day off in about a week and a half. They were calling to ask if i would work tonight of course i didn't want to but my mum didn't even ask me and said yes so i got my work clothes back on and got taken over to work. So boring thats fucking 25hrs this week and im working tommorow and then the first 3days of Janurary before i go away on holidays!

Anways right now im feeling a bit tired and hungry so i might get something to eat and we'll see i need some fucking sleep!

Sorry if half of this didn't make sense but hell im tired and don't care much

X-mas Weekend

2003-12-26T21:40:29Z

Christmas day turned out to be alright i guess despite the fact i got nothing i asked for or wanted. Everything i got was a shirt and they were all light colours because my mum dosen't want me wearing my AFI shirts or black for some reason, anyways i just overlooked that and attempted to have a good day. Me and my dad got down to my aunties house about 2hrs before everyone was about to turn up and started setting up the place in 34degree heat which was way to hot to be carrying things and setting up a shade cloth over the pool. After a good solid 1hr we were almost done, once my mum and sisters showed up they finally did some work and set up the tables and put whatever needed to be done.

when everyone arrived we pretty much went straight into the pool as it was way to hot thats were we spent most of the time. All my cousins were there from Canberra which was really good as i haven't most of them in years. I just sat in the pool and did whatever but i was constantly throwing my little cousin off of me as she kept scratching and jumping on my back when i was talking it was so ANNOYING. Anyways there was so much food there which was good :) that was one of the best parts. Around 9pm or something they all started to leave, i left at like 9.30 and was to exhausted to stay up any longer.

Boxing day was alright i woke up and really only had time to get ready for work double time and a half = YES so the place was so quiet and i was happy because i was getting paid $17hr to pretty much just sit there, 4hrs later i come home and spend pretty much the rest of the day talking with selene (hope you get better soon <3)

Anways im out i woke up to early to type all this

Weekend = fun

2003-12-23T09:46:29Z

Sunday: Was the best time ive had in awhile all my cousins are up from Canberra its so good to see them it made me forget about everything. Been so long (5years) or something anyways i bet my cousins fionce he is the funniest person ive met in a long time i didn't stop laughing once. Later that day/night we all went around to my other cousins house who has just moved into town and they had like a street party it was lots of fun. Seeing Dane (cous fionce) had never seen a toad before he wanted to see them a bit closer so these kids were going around and bringing them back to where we were to show him, the best part i think was blowing one up with a fire cracker. Once the night came to an end me, my sister and cousins headed to Cold Rock where we got some nice ice cream. Just what i needed to finish the night off

Monday: I didn't do much at all monday woke up and talked with Selene for hours she is so awsome, it was great. Ended up getting a hair cut it was just getting to hot for summer, then i had to go to work at 6pm - close, that was probably the best close ive had in awhile i was with people who i actually talk with we just mucked around heaps but managed to get out nice and early.

Tuesday: Today i was woken up at 6.20am to get ready and head over to my cousins again as we were heading up the coast to Dreamworld. We got there and has alot of fun i just wasn't as excited as i use to be i guess ive rode the rides to many times but still heaps off fun, spent the whole day in the fucking heat walking around in 34c heat is not fun! i left my phone in the car and at the end of the day when i checked the temperature my phone said 50c THANK GOD I WAS not in there.

Right now im exhausted and need a good nights sleep :)

I need some pictures to put in this journal

Nothing Special

2003-12-20T02:31:52Z

Hey all haven't had much to say lately alot of things have been getting to me, like fighting with Brooke and Danielle now neither of them are talking to me. Not good, i wish things were normal between me and Danielle.

I hate not talking to her
I hate that we fight
I hate lots of things
I hate people who judge you for the person that you are

I wish she felt the same way
I wish i didn't have to be put through this
I wish i wasn't left out of things for my image

Things have been getting really bad for me latley so ill leave it at that maybe later ill do a big update with a few things until then it will stay like this

"I don't want to fuck you, I don't want to fuck you, SO FUCK YOU"

Christmas shopping

2003-12-16T11:29:46Z

Well i ended up going into the city today with Tom it was alright, first we went to Rocking Horse Records which had nothing i wanted so we made our way to Skinnys where i picked up some things:
A perfect circle: Mer De Noms and AFI's Girls Not Grey on grey vinyl. Once we got out it started to piss down rain which was a complete bitch! everyone ran to get out of the rain making the walkways packed, also Tom was continually trying to push me into people.

So after awhile we decided to go back and go to chermside instead, so we got off at the train station walked over to Daniel's house picked him up and continued to Chermisde when we got there we just saught of went looking around. I finshed off getting presents for my sisters! finally i don't see why i should buy for them, but anyways maybe im just a nice guy.

When we decided we had enough i went home and was listening to the new CD i just brought and was going to get some shut eye when my auntie showed up wanting me to mowe her lawn. Bah! so anyways i went down started then it started to rain a bit but wasn't heavy so i could continue finally after 45mins i had it done and was reading to come home and get some much needed sleep.

Right now i just got off playing a game with some mates and decided to write this up while it is fresh in my head as tommrow i won't exactly care.

Lost Soul

Thoughts?

2003-12-15T10:32:16Z

Well tonight has been pretty boring along with the rest of what i did today, Tom talked to me before and we are going into the city tommrow if all goes well. Just what i need, so sick of being in the house at the moment i need to escape!

I told Danielle and Brooke what was on my mind today because well they were starting to really piss me off, you to follow the live that other people want you to be because everytime i talk with you two you don't say whats on your mind or anything you say "oh you can talk to us, tell us anything" Why? why should i tell you guys anything you don't seem to reply just with "oh ok" like a bunch of dumb struck tarts. Please don't change the way you act or talk to me now because of everything, i hate it! i hate the assholes who give me negative feedback, i hate all those people who snob me because i wear black sometimes. No shit im different but i am who i am stop trying to put me down.

Danielle i wasn't going to say this because it will most likely end up in us not talking again but i still feel the same way as i always have about you. Don't ask why it's just something maybe im afraid to let go, and i will leave it at that please don't ignore me now i just had to get it off my chest

First Entry

2003-12-15T03:03:24Z

Wow this is my first post with this thing, thanks to Selene for telling me about it <3 you made me sign up so i did just so you can continue to stalk me :)